Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Sexuality Labels

The Transgender Companion, THE MUST HAVE guide for all TG women, from CD to TS, http://www.tgcompanion.com

Today I'd like to just touch a bit on sexuality and transgenderism.

Sexuality labels can be a confusing area for a lot of people, including tg women, admirers, and people outside the TG community. I want to be a woman. Does this make me gay? Or for male admirers. They may consider themselves gay or straight or bi or be very confused as to what their attraction means, sexuality wise.

First off, it is important to realize that gender identity is different from sexual orientation. This can get confusing I realize. Some cd's are very feminine gay men, but they have no desire to BECOME a woman. They enjoy dressing up and the sexual aspect, and that is just fine. These one would still classify as gay. (For the record, NO offense is meant by any terms here at all. Everybody is just fine. I am not trying to mislabel anybody. IN fact, I am trying to get across that labels are pretty tough to define as people have different meanings for lables, depending on their understand and experience.)

Then there are TS women who are transitioning or are already living as a woman. They may be attracted to men and consider themselves straight (since they identify as female). Or they may be attracted to women and/or TS woman and consider themselves "gay" (or a lesbian).

However, people looking in from the outside who do not understand what a transsexual is (and many don't, which is understandable), may still consider a ts gay as they consider her a "man". Then if they find out she is attracted to women, they may really get confused. They'll wonder, why is she transitioning? Is she gay or straight? Do you see how confusing this label thing can get?

This is a key point actually. One transitions in order to be one's true gender self, not to get dates or for sexual reasons. One's gender identity is separate from one's sexual orientation.
Then there is the question of people who are attracted to transsexuals. For example, a man may have always considered himself straight and then finds he is attracted to transgendered women - very much so. Does this make him gay, bi or straight? I say, maybe all. It all depends on your point of view. But I think the key for him is how does he view the TG woman he is with. Does he view her as a woman and treat her as such all the time? Then I would consider him straight. Does he consider her a combination of the "best of both worlds" and is perhaps mainly attracted to women, but also to very feminine men? I would consider him "bi". Does he consider a TG woman a very feminine gay male? Then I would consider him "gay". I think the key is what is going on in his head and how does he view the TG, as I said - as a woman, best of both worlds woman, or a man. Outside people may view him as "gay". Or straight. Once again, I think it gets down to how they view a TG (at least the specific person involved) - as a woman or a man (albeit a feminine one).

When it gets down to it, the label doesn't matter so much. You like what you like. It's not something you can really pick. Don't worry about the label. However you consider yourself (i.e. straight, bi or gay) is just fine. You have found the gender that attracts you (i.e. TS) so just enjoy that. You have the right to pursue that.

The same advice goes for all the TG women. Don't worry too much about your sexuality label. However you consider yourself is fine. And just remember that your gender identity is separate from your sexuality label, although they can go together or seem similar at times.

AS a little extra tip in regards to dating, don't worry TOO Much about what sexual orientation a man (or woman, if that is the case) calls him (or herself )who wants to date you. Instead, look at how he treats you. If he is treating you and viewing you as you want (e.g. as a woman at all times) , then that is all you want.

I hope this helps! Have a great day everybody!

Jennifer :-)

For more practical advice and step by step guidance on transitioning, go to http://www.tgcompanion.com and order “The Transgender Companion” today! FREE excerpt included on the web site.

3 comments:

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Anne said...

I know the term is not really aceptable for us. howeverwe have an admirers that know us through this term(ladyboy). But this is not really about the term its about the affection from an admirer. I found this article about his relationship with a TS how it feels to have a ladyboy girlfriend and this is trully inspiring

Anne said...

I know the term is not really aceptable for us. howeverwe have an admirers that know us through this term(ladyboy). But this is not really about the term its about the affection from an admirer. I found this article about his relationship with a TS how it feels to have a ladyboy girlfriend and this is trully inspiring