Monday, December 31, 2007

Christmas Memories

I hope that everyone is having a wonderful holiday. I apologize for not writing on here for awhile. Time can certainly fly. I was shocked to see I hadn't written since November!!!!!! It doesn't seem that long. But the holidays always do fly.

I go through a bit of a conflicted feeling every Christmas. Part of me enjoys them and part of me dreads them and is glad when they are over. I tend to feel vaguely depressed and let down. I think part of that is that society puts so much emphasis on Christmas as the be all, end all of happiness, we can't help but be let down a bit. But also, it is a family time and everybody is talking about getting together with family and I don't do that anymore.

My parents have passed away, and I don't get together with my siblings anymore, so that old Christmas "family" tradition has kind of passed away, although I don't really miss that either. But I think I can't help but feel a bit melancholy and let down at Christmas. Christmas was always such a happy time for me as a kid, so I guess I miss that - buying and getting presents (I used to start buying presents in July so that I could get everybody a gift on my allowance), the tree (I couldn't wait to put it up each year), the music (I'd sneak a Christmas album on in August when nobody was home). All the joys of a childhood Christmas. My parents weren't rich, and we didn't get the presents kids seem to get today, but we got wonderful presents always and Christmas was always fun.

I have really fond memories of getting up on Christmas morning and eating candy out of a sock we'd leave on the back of a couch for Santa. Setting the table with "A Merry Mancini Christmas" or the Morman Tabernacle Choir singing christmas carols on our old stereo while my MOm fixed dinner, smelling the yummy aroma. Then there was the time the family went over to my grandparents (I was probably about 7) on CHristmas morning, but I stayed home with mom while she cooked and our cat, Shannon, came tearing through the house (as cats do) and knocked over the Christmas tree. My Mom was ready to kill him, you can imagine!

Happy Holidays to all. Remember, no matter who you are or where you are now, you are special and a gift to to the world.

Jennifer :-)

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